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Coach Says......
by Larry Dean Jackson

Coach says... MOTIVATION
Coach has some great ways to motivate his boys. Defensively, if your man scores, you sit the bench unless you are the leading scorer at that time. If you are the leading scorer, he doesn't give a rats a-- if you play defense. Your job is to score points. The community likes points. His boys do get after it because they don't want to come out. They also want to be the leading scorer because they don't have to play defense. He also says this is a great way to rotate his boys in. Coach likes the accountability in his system. "Who was guarding him? Sub." This is why we don't spend much time on defense in practice. The boys know the rule. Another one is the meal after a game. Coach feeds them well if we win. IF we lose, they get grilled cheese and water. Coach says the boys play harder on the road because they know the rule. What are some motivation devices you other coaches have?

Coach says... INTIMIDATION
Coach loves it when his boys intimidate the other team. He buys 11-inch inseam shorts so his boys shorts are way below the knees. Coach encourages corn-rows or big fros, even the white boys have them. Shirt tails are always out. Coach says that if the shirt was to be tucked in, it would be a one piece connected to the shorts. Coach loves jewelry. He makes sure Dewayne, Marcus, and LaKendrick have their earrings in when they go meet the captains from the other team. He says it is the refs job to make them take them out, not his. He loves it when they act a fool during pregame, running and hollering around the court, circling up in a huddle at mid-court, chanting. This gets his boys ready to play. Any other coaches do things to try to intimidate the other team?

Coach says... AFTER ELIGIBILITY
Coach says he has a friend in the community that runs a factory. He says the friend gives the seniors a job as soon as the season ends. They get good money which makes them not want to go to college. Coach says this keeps them from moving away. Helps the breeding cycle. He says Tyrone is athletic which means his kids should be athletic. He says these boys are mine, ain't gonna let them move off and have their kids beat me later on. He told me to go count the banners in the gym and said the community likes hanging them up. Any other coaches help your senior after they are done playing for you?

Coach says... CLASSES
Coach says to put his boys in AP classes or Special Ed. ones to keep them eligible. He says AP is great because LaKendrick can fail and still get to score 14 points a game. Coach says most teachers won't fail special ed. kids because of the paperwork. He says one tried to fail Bobby last year and he went and asked her for the modifications. Next thing you know, they are having a special ARD and Bobby is passing. Any other coaches out there try to place kids in classes just to keep them eligible?

Coach says... DEFENSE
Coach says that LaMarr who averaged 22 points a games last year doesn't have to play defense. He says he doesn't give a rats a-- if he guards anybody as long as he scores points. Coach says why take a chance on your leading scorer getting tired or in foul trouble playing defense. He needs him in the game to win. Can't score from the bench. Any coaches out there make their leading scorer play as hard on defense as the rest of the team?

Coach says... DRILLS
Coach says drills are a complete waste of time! He says his boys get better by playing, not drilling. He also says this helps keep Jerome and the boys from playing other sports. 5 on 5 every day. Any other coaches go by this or do yall make basketball boring by doing drills all the time?

Coach says... OFFSEASON
Showed Coach the topics about offseason. He nearly fell out of his chair. Coach said how are Octavius and the boys going to score if they are doing mat drills. Coach said if we score points, he keeps his job. He teaches the boys how to score. The community likes to see high scoring games. His boys stay in the gym firing 3's. Ain't no sharing athletes. If one of Coach's boys plays another sport, he ain't playing basketball no more. Schedule change the next day. Community wants the boys playing basketball. Coach always says that the day they put a goal at the finish line is the day his boys can run track. Coach also says that if the other coaches don't like it that the boys just plays basketball, they can find another job. Plenty to choose from. Coach also doesn't like to hear the crap about what's best for the boys. He says what's best for the boys is for Coach to win games to keep his job.

Coach says... TEACHERS
Coach says he really gets mad when teachers complain to him about how his boys act in class. He says Jamal acts fine in basketball, he doesn't give a rats a-- how he acts in school as long as he gets 11 rebounds a game. He says you have to have some sh-- in you to be aggressive. Why take that away from them? One day this new teacher brought Jamal to coach's office saying he wasn't acting right in class. Coach said he was the coach not the vice-principal, who by the way is a good friend of the program. Coach told her to send Jamal to him. The VP makes them shoot 100 FT's for punishment. In practice that day, Jamal starting acting a fool. Coach stopped pratice and took him to see the teacher. He asked her if she could get Jamal to act right since she did the same to Coach. Haven't had a problem with her since. Do any coaches get tired of teachers complaining about how their players act in class?

Coach says... TODAY
Coach says our program is defined by how many games we win and the banners hanging on the wall. He says he doesn't give a rats a-- how they act off the court as long as they win on the court. He says his job depends upon them winning now, not tomorrow in life. Coach said when he got the job, the community's job description for the head coach was to win games, not teach them about life. He says that while some coaches are teaching about life, he is teaching his boys how to win which keeps his job. Coach says it is harder to fire a coach who wins lots of games than one who wins some. Coach only worries about how they act for HIM. Coach says that the only thing he produces is basketball players who know how to win. He says after he is done with Jamal, he can't worry about him any more. He says he has to get Jamal's brother ready for next year. If Jamal ends up in prison, at least he will be good in the pick-up games.

Coach says... TEACHERS…..TWO
Coach says that is why his friend is the vice-principal. When Jamal gets in trouble, he gets sent to the office to see the VP. The VP makes him shoots 100 FT's for acting up. Coach says the VP saves his players every year. Also, Coach signs his boys up for AP or Special Ed. classes. AP kids can fail and still play. If a kid fails a Special Ed. class, Coach threatens the teacher with an ARD to determine if the teacher followed all of the modifications. Coach knows the system. That is why he wins lots of games each year.

Coach says... PAYING REFS
Coach says he has a great system to legally pay off the refs. Since we win a lot of games each year and score points, we have large crowds. The community likes points. Coach says if we win, he has the school pay the refs the correct fee according to the gate. On the RARE occasion when we lose a home game, Coach says he has the school pay the refs the minimum gate fee. When they complain, he tells them that it was senior citizen night, PIPs night, jr. high night, student in free night, or some other hogwash which resulted in less money for the gate. Coach says the older refs in the local chapter know the system. Coach wins and you get more money in your pocket. Coach loses and you get the minimum. Coach says the administration doesn't mind because they get to keep more money. Any other coaches have special nights where people get in free in order to pay the refs less?

Coach says... SPORTSMANSHIP
Coach got a letter from the UIL about their Sportsmanship Award. They are wanting Coach to recommend one school from our district. Coach says he doesn't give a rats a-- about sportsmanship and he is going to put the last place team down. He said last place teams have the best sportsmanship because they suck. Coach says teams that win don't have sportsmanship, and he wins a lot. Coach rated our school according to the scoresheet. He said we got all 1's and he was proud of it. Here are some examples. #1 SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION--Coach says our administration sits on their a-- in the stands and doesn't care what goes on. Coach loves the zoo atmosphere, makes the other team scared of the surroundings. Every once in awhile, he will stop the JV game and have the police bring in drug dogs to search the stands for drugs and weapons. Gets them every time. #2 COACHES--Coach has been known to eat popcorn and drink a coke on the bench during blow-outs. One time he ordered a pizza and ate it on the bench. #3 TEAMS--Coach doesn't let our teams shake hands after games. He says he doesn't want his boys associating with losers once the game is over. #4 STUDENT BODY--Ours is known for their 4-letter chants. Coach said Maryland copied our students during their game with Duke. "---- you, Redick!" Do any of you coaches out there brag about your sportmanship? "Well boys, we got hammered tonight by 25, but yall displayed good sportsmanship."

Coach says... TAKS/EDUCATION
Coach was pretty ticked off the other day with our administration about this TAKS thing. At first, we were going to miss basketball class because of testing. Coach raised hell in the principal's office. Coach said the community cares more about basketball than some stupid school ranking. He says the community wants the basketball team exemplary and doesn't give a rats a-- about the school being that. Coach than had some very important "friends" in the community call the principal. They told him that if the team lost 3 games next year, it wasn't going to be Coach losing his job, it was going to be him losing a job since he caused Coach to lose 3 practices. After that, they changed the schedule and Coach gets to practice after the test. Coach says his boys ain't gonna pass it anyway so why lose practice time for it. Any coaches lose their athletic period because of the TAKS? This caused Coach to start talking about education in general. Coach says the problem is that they don't treat the classroom like a basketball program. Coach says we have varsity, JV, sophomore, 9A, and 9B teams. He says you don't put the varsity on the court with the 9B team. (Coach did add that it seems like some schools do this win we play them because they suck so bad.) Anyway, if you do, Coach says you spend all your time working with the 9B team and the varsity don't get no better. Coach says in the classroom, teachers spend all their time with the dumb kids trying to teach them while the smart ones becomed bored to death with watered-down assignments. Just put them in classes according to how smart they are. Don't worry about hurting some kids feelings. Athletics doesn't worry about it. "I really don't want to put Lamar on the sophomore team because it might hurt his feelings."

Coach says... TABC
I asked Coach if we were going to the TABC convention and he came unglued. Coach said, "H--- no, we ain't going!" He said why on earth would we go to that. I mentioned the speakers to him and he said that I need to just listen to him. Coach said I am his assistant, not Jim Calhoun's. He said if I wanted to learn what Calhoun does, move up there and join his staff. Coach said I just need to learn his system and not worry about others. His way or the highway. I asked him about playing golf, and he said, "How in the world is golf going to help me win games next year? Them boys are all down there while we are here practicing offense. We will be 2 days better than them." Coach said most of them boys down there are just drinking beer and chasing skirts. He said we do our beer-drinking after every win, which explains why coach has a big belly on him because he wins a lot. Coach also said the reason football coaches let the basketball coaches go down there is to try and get the kids to play football. Coach said the moment he ever left town, them coaches would be all over Cedric and the boys to play football. Any other assistants not get to go to San Antonio?

Coach says... PARENT MEETINGS
I noticed during the season that Coach never had any parent meetings so I asked him about it. Coach said he doesn't have many problems with parents. He said most of the boys' daddies played for him. Coach got them jobs at the local factory after their senior season to keep them from moving off and going to college. This keeps the bloodlines in the program. The boys get paid good and they like the money. Coach said there was a problem a while back with this one guy who was b----ing about his cousin not playing. Coach said the kid couldn't throw the ball in the ocean, so he never played. No offense=no playing time. Well, when coach found out about the guy complaining, he called his buddy who runs the factory. To make the story short, the dude did not have a job anymore. Coach said he hasn't had many problems since. Coach did tell me that if a single mother comes up to meet with him, it will be a closed door meeting. And if there is a tie on the door handle, if a like my job I will not interrupt them. That happened once this past season and Jerome, who never plays, was starting the next game. Coach sure knows how to handle parents.

Coach says... SPORTS BANQUETS
Coach said he doesn't give a rats a-- about sports banquets. He said these are just for parents to feel good about themselves. The rest of the school has one in the spring. Coach calls it the Loser's Banquet since the rest of the sports suck at our school. All of the athletes are in the gym year-round. Coach said he doesn't have time for a banquet. He says those things take all night. Coach said that is time that the boys could be spending in the gym working on offense, not sitting at some banquet being bored to death. He says who cares about the past season, it is time to get ready for the next one. The seniors can't go to a banquet because they are working the night shift at the local factory. Coach makes sure of that. When the boys turn 21, coach has a little get together at Treymayne's dad's bar-be-que joint in the summer. He says this is his banquet. Coach likes beer and bar-be-que.


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